Milk and Honey Read online

  that is the thing about selfish people. they gamble entire beings. entire souls to please their own. one second they are holding you like the world in their lap and the next they have belittled you to a mere picture. a moment. something of the past. one second. they swallow you up and whisper they want to spend the rest of their life with you. but the moment they sense fear. they are already halfway out the door. without having the nerve to let you go with grace. as if the human heart means that little to them.

  and after all this. after all of the taking. the nerve. isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do to pick up the phone and call. apologize. for the loss. and this is how you lose her.

  - selfish

  to do list (after the breakup):

  1. take refuge in your bed.

  2. cry. till the tears stop (this will take a few days).

  3. don’t listen to slow songs.

  4. delete their number from your phone even though it is memorized on your fingertips.

  5. don’t look at old photos.

  6. find the closest ice cream shop and treat yourself to two scoops of mint chocolate chip. the mint will calm your heart. you deserve the chocolate.

  7. buy new bed sheets.

  8. collect all the gifts, t-shirts, and everything with their smell on it and drop it off at a donation center.

  9. plan a trip.

  10. perfect the art of smiling and nodding when someone brings their name up in conversation.

  11. start a new project.

  12. whatever you do. do not call.

  13. do not beg for what does not want to stay.

  14. stop crying at some point.

  15. allow yourself to feel foolish for believing you could’ve built the rest of your life in someone else’s stomach.

  16. breathe.

  the way they

  leave

  tells you

  everything

  perhaps

  i don’t deserve

  nice things

  cause i am paying

  for sins i don’t

  remember

  the thing about writing is

  i can’t tell if it’s healing

  or destroying me

  do not bother holding on to

  that thing that does not want you

  - you cannot make it stay

  you must enter a relationship

  with yourself

  before anyone else

  accept that you deserve more

  than painful love

  life is moving

  the healthiest thing

  for your heart is

  to move with it

  it is a part of the

  human experience to feel pain

  do not be afraid

  open yourself to it

  - evolving

  loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself

  you are in the habit

  of co-depending

  on people to

  make up for what

  you think you lack

  who tricked you

  into believing

  another person

  was meant to complete you

  when the most they can do is complement

  do not look for healing

  at the feet of those

  who broke you

  if you were born with

  the weakness to fall

  you were born with

  the strength to rise

  perhaps the saddest of all

  are those who live waiting

  for someone they’re not

  sure exists

  - 7 billion people

  stay strong through your pain

  grow flowers from it

  you have helped me

  grow flowers out of mine so

  bloom beautifully

  dangerously

  loudly

  bloom softly

  however you need

  just bloom

  - to the reader

  i thank the universe

  for taking

  everything it has taken

  and giving to me

  everything it is giving

  - balance

  it takes grace

  to remain kind

  in cruel situations

  fall

  in love

  with your solitude

  there is a difference between

  someone telling you

  they love you and

  them actually

  loving you

  sometimes

  the apology

  never comes

  when it is wanted

  and when it comes

  it is neither wanted

  nor needed

  - you are too late

  you tell me

  i am not like most girls

  and learn to kiss me with your eyes closed

  something about the phrase—something about

  how i have to be unlike the women

  i call sisters in order to be wanted

  makes me want to spit your tongue out

  like i am supposed to be proud you picked me

  as if i should be relieved you think

  i am better than them

  the next time he

  points out the

  hair on your legs is

  growing back remind

  that boy your body

  is not his home

  he is a guest

  warn him to

  never outstep

  his welcome

  again

  to be

  soft

  is

  to be

  powerful

  you deserve to be

  completely found

  in your surroundings

  not lost within them

  i know it’s hard

  believe me

  i know it feels like

  tomorrow will never come

  and today will be the most

  difficult day to get through

  but i swear you will get through

  the hurt will pass

  as it always does

  if you give it time and

  let it so let it

  go

  slowly

  like a broken promise

  let it go

  i like the way the stretch marks

  on my thighs look human and

  that we’re so soft yet

  rough and jungle wild

  when we need to be

  i love that about us

  how capable we are of feeling

  how unafraid we are of breaking

  and tend to our wounds with grace

  just being a woman

  calling myself

  a woman

  makes me utterly whole

  and complete

  my issue with what they consider beautiful

  is their concept of beauty

  centers around excluding people

  i find hair beautiful

  when a woman wears it

  like a garden on her skin

  that is the definition of beauty

  big hooked noses

  pointing upward to the sky

  like they’re rising

  to the occasion

  skin the color of earth

  my ancestors planted crops on

  to feed a lineage of women with

  thighs thick as tree trunks

  eyes like almonds

  deeply hooded with conviction

  the rivers of punjab

  flow through my bloodstream so

  don’t tell me my women

  aren’t as beautiful

  as the ones in

  your country

  our backs

  tell stories

  no books have

  the spine to

  carry

  - women of color
<
br />   accept yourself

  as you were designed

  your body

  is a museum

  of natural disasters

  can you grasp how

  stunning that is

  losing you

  was the becoming

  of myself

  other women’s bodies

  are not our battlegrounds

  removing all the hair

  off your body is okay

  if that’s what you want to do

  just as much as keeping all the hair

  on your body is okay

  if that’s what you want to do

  - you belong only to yourself

  apparently it is ungraceful of me

  to mention my period in public

  cause the actual biology

  of my body is too real

  it is okay to sell what’s

  between a woman’s legs

  more than it is okay to

  mention its inner workings

  the recreational use of

  this body is seen as

  beautiful while

  its nature is

  seen as ugly

  you were a dragon long before

  he came around and said

  you could fly

  you will remain a dragon

  long after he’s left

  i want to apologize to all the women

  i have called pretty

  before i’ve called them intelligent or brave

  i am sorry i made it sound as though

  something as simple as what you’re born with

  is the most you have to be proud of when your

  spirit has crushed mountains

  from now on i will say things like

  you are resilient or you are extraordinary

  not because i don’t think you’re pretty

  but because you are so much more than that

  i have

  what i have

  and i am happy

  i’ve lost

  what i’ve lost

  and i am

  still

  happy

  - outlook

  you look at me and cry

  everything hurts

  i hold you and whisper

  but everything can heal

  if the hurt comes

  so will the happiness

  - be patient

  the name kaur

  makes me a free woman

  it removes the shackles that

  try to bind me

  uplifts me

  to remind me i am equal to

  any man even though the state

  of this world screams to me i am not

  that i am my own woman and

  i belong wholly to myself

  and the universe

  it humbles me

  calls out and says i have a

  universal duty to share with

  humanity to nurture

  and serve the sisterhood

  to raise those that need raising

  the name kaur runs in my blood

  it was in me before the word itself existed

  it is my identity and my liberation

  - kaur

  a woman of sikhi

  the world

  gives you

  so much pain

  and here you are

  making gold out of it

  - there is nothing purer than that

  how you love yourself is

  how you teach others

  to love you

  my heart aches for sisters more than anything

  it aches for women helping women

  like flowers ache for spring

  the goddess between your legs

  makes mouths water

  you

  are your own

  soul mate

  some people

  are so bitter

  to them

  you must be kindest

  we all move forward when

  we recognize how resilient

  and striking the women

  around us are

  for you to see beauty here

  does not mean

  there is beauty in me

  it means there is beauty rooted

  so deep within you

  you can’t help but

  see it everywhere

  hair

  if it was not supposed to be there

  would not be growing

  on our bodies in the first place

  - we are at war with what comes most naturally to us

  most importantly love

  like it’s the only thing you know how

  at the end of the day all this

  means nothing

  this page

  where you’re sitting

  your degree

  your job

  the money

  nothing even matters

  except love and human connection

  who you loved

  and how deeply you loved them

  how you touched the people around you

  and how much you gave them

  i want to remain so

  rooted to the ground

  these tears

  these hands

  these feet

  sink in

  - grounded

  you have to stop

  searching for why at some point

  you have to leave it alone

  if you are not enough for yourself

  you will never be enough

  for someone else

  you must

  want to spend

  the rest of your life

  with yourself

  first

  of course i want to be successful

  but i don’t crave success for me

  i need to be successful to gain

  enough milk and honey

  to help those around

  me succeed

  my heartbeat quickens at

  the thought of birthing poems

  which is why i will never stop

  opening myself up to conceive them

  the lovemaking

  to the words

  is so erotic

  i am either in love

  or in lust with

  the writing

  or both

  what terrifies me most is how we

  foam at the mouth with envy

  when others succeed

  but sigh in relief

  when they are failing

  our struggle to

  celebrate each other is

  what’s proven most difficult

  in being human

  your art

  is not about how many people

  like your work

  your art

  is about

  if your heart likes your work

  if your soul likes your work

  it’s about how honest

  you are with yourself

  and you

  must never

  trade honesty

  for relatability

  - to all you young poets

  give to those

  who have nothing

  to give to you

  - seva (selfless service)

  you split me open

  in the most honest

  way there is

  to split a soul open

  and forced me to write

  at a time i was sure i

  could not write again

  - thank you

  you have made it to the end. with my heart in your hands. thank you. for arriving here safely. for being tender with the most delicate part of me. sit down. breathe. you must be tired. let me kiss your hands. your eyes. they must be wanting of something sweet. i am sending you all my sugar. i would be nowhere and nothing if it were not for you. you’ve helped me become the woman i wanted to be. but was too afraid to be. do you have any idea how much of a miracle you are. how lovely it’s been. and how lovely it w
ill always be. i am kneeling before you. saying thank you. i am sending my love to your eyes. may they always see goodness in people. and may you always practice kindness. may we see each other as one. may we be nothing short of in love with everything the universe has to offer. and may we always stay grounded. rooted. our feet planted firmly onto the earth.

  - a love letter from me to you

  rupi kaur is a writer and artist based in toronto, canada. throughout her poetry and illustrations she engages with themes of love, loss, trauma, healing, and femininity. she shares her writing with the world as a means to create a safe space for progressive healing and forward movement. her creative direction and photography have broken international boundaries and have since made it into galleries, magazines, and spaces around the world. when she is not writing or creating other art, she is traveling to perform spoken word, as well as hosting writing workshops. you can find more of her work at: www.rupikaur.com

  - about the writer

  milk and honey is a

  collection of poetry about

  love